What Really Matters
by NextGeneration18
Summary: After National Acadamy's mean girl says some hurtful things regarding Ilana Luhtor-Schott's chronic illness, Carson Matthews reminds her what one of the most important things in the world is. Karamel, Winn/Lena Winn/Lena daughter x karamel son, just warning you.


**A gift for Iminyourhandskara on tunblr!**

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Ilana Luthor-Schott sat in the little space between the lockers and the water restrooms trying not keep it together. Part of her was screaming _how dare she!_ And the other part of her whimpered _she's right you_ _know._

Just earlier, Ilana had opened her locker to take her fibro meds in between history and social studies when Katrina St. Clair, the daughter of National City's DA, had seen her and shaken her head.

"What is it you got, Luthor-Schott?"

"Fibromyalgia."

"Ah; thought so."

It was one of the few times that someone actually knew right off the bat what type of chronic illness she had. Usually she had to explain it in detail; that it was believed to be the cause of overactive nerves, but no one was sure, that she was in pain 24/7; that the pain drained her energy most days; that the meds never really worked, but she kept trying them that in hopes that she would find one that would and some days she felt so sick that she thought about asking her mom for a private tutor.

So it was pretty refreshing to hear someone say that Fibromyalgia was what she thought it was, and more unusual coming from Katrina St. Clair, who was National Academy's mean girl.

"You know someone who has it?" Ilana asked shutting the locker door.

"No, but word gets around." Katrina played with one of her blonde curls listlessly not smiling nor frowning; somehow, Ilana's gut told her that that was a bad thing.

"I'm sure it does." Ilana picked up her social studies and listened to her guy by walking away.

"You plan on going to college when you've graduated high school?" Katrina asked following her down the hall.

"We'll see; right now, I just have to get through this one day of high school." She felt sick at the thought of not being able to attend college due to her health; or maybe that was her actual health that was making her feel that way; Ilana wasn't sure by this point.

"So, if you don't get a degree, then what will you do with your life?"

"That's thinking too far ahead; don't you have to attend biology right now?" Katrina was grating on her nerves asking these too-personal questions.

"The future is female. You know that, right, Ilana."

"Sure; what are you saying?"

"Well, you're sick all the time, you can barely think; heck, you can't get out of your own way! What do you really contribute to the future? I mean, really?"

Ilana froze as Katrina brought one of her deepest fears to light.

"You're a disgrace to the feminist movement. Period. Because what can you really do? Stay home and cook dinner, that's what. And even that might be pushing it.

"Which," Katrina laughed, "is pretty ironic, considering your mom is the great Lena Luthor-Schott, one of the most indpendant and powerful women in National City."

Ilana struggled to give a retort but could find none due to being sideswiped and her fear of talking lest she cry. She hated the fact that being emotional was yet, another symptom of fibro.

"Have fun becoming a doormat." Katrina blew a kiss toward her and walked in the opposite direction to the biology room.

Ilana had been now sitting on the floor for only 5 minutes, and it was already sending shooting pain up her back forcing her to get up. Slowly.

She cursed her chronic illness and felt herself get pulled down into the sea of self-hatred and self-pity that was her daily battleground. Her nausea had increased in the last ten minutes and she was actually tempted to call her mom or dad to come and pick her up, so she could go home and sleep.

She laughed bitterly as she realized that she was proving Katrina's point.

"Hey, there you are."

Ilana hastily wiped some stray tears from her cheeks as Carson Matthews came running up next to her.

"I was looking all over for you; are you feeling okay?"

"Yes; I have Fibromyalgia and my meds aren't working like they should, so I'm just dandy." She felt instantly bad for snapping at her best friend's brother; it wasn't his fault that he was peak of Kryptonian/Daxamite health and she had the health of a shriveled up grape.

She looked up at him and saw that he was confused making her feel even worse.

"I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's okay; want me to fly you home?"

Usually when she was feeling this bad, she would accept the help, but after what Katrina said to her, she felt a flash of stubborn indignation and determination.

"No; I can make it through the day. I'm a strong, independent woman who doesn't need any man to help me." She turned around and kept walking.

Thankfully, Carson's phone's text ring went off, so he couldn't respond.

Already she was regretting her decision; she couldn't remember the last time she felt like she was this close to passing out.

Carson's heavy footsteps picked up behind her.

"Hey, Alura just texted me from biology. Did Katrina St. Clair say anything to you? 'Cause she's bragging about the fact that she just 'dragged the Luthor girl'."

At the statement, Ilana felt an emotional dam break. She didn't' mean for it to happen; it just did. She was so tired, and in so much pain that she had reached her breaking point for the day. She broke down and started to sniffle.

She felt Carson's strong arms encircle her from behind and begin to rock her back and forth.

"Come on," he turned her around and drew her to him, "just let it out; no one else is in the hallway."

Ilana hated it; she was supposed to be a strong, independent girl who was should be busy contributing the to the future instead of sniffling in the arms of a childhood friend; a male childhood friend, no less.

Maybe she could allow it just once, though.

She felt herself give into her tears and clung to his cologne-scented shirt hoping she wasn't crying on his favorite black leather jacket. Carson didn't say anything and seemed content just to stroke her long dark hair.

When she felt herself calm down a little, she told Carson what Katrina had told her through tearful hiccups.

Carson's blue eyes flashed with every stab Katrina had given her.

"She said those things to you?"

Ilana nodded.

"Lana, you know those things aren't true."

"Are they? Carson, this is the third day in a row that I'll have to go home because I'm feeling so out of it. _The third day_ _ **in a row**_. At this point, I'll have to take online classes from home and drop out of private school all together. And I want to go to college but I know I can't until, _if,_ I get this sorted out! I don't agree with how Katrina told me these things, but there's some truth in what she said: I'm not good for anything contributing to my gender; not really."

Carson slung his arms around her shoulder gently.

"Walk with me," he told he as he pushed the side door that led into the courtyard of the private school.

"My mom," he said scratching the side of his temple with his free hand, "was saying something yesterday that I think applies to you right now. She was telling Alura and I that our society's worth has relied on performance for so long, that, oftentimes, we forget that it's who the person is that really counts.

"Are you able to go to school like most kids? No. should you take karate lessons? Absolutely not. But that's not what really matters in the end anyway." He stopped and held her shoulders at arm's length.

"Ilana, you're one of the most amazing persons that I know. You care about people, your disposition lights up a room, the way you think has always amazed me, and you seem to have this heart for the underdogs that would put even some of most kindest people to shame. Remember when we were little, you insisted that you stay with a group of ants to make sure that they crossed the road safely?"

Ilana laughed at the memory.

"I sometimes still do that."

"I knew it." He chuckled and wiped her tears away with his rough thumb sending shivers down her spine.

"And who's to say you can't get a college degree? Sure, you might not be able to go on campus, but there are plenty of avenues you can take that you can go at your own pace. It might take a little longer, but you've the determination to do it.

"But even if you can't, if you have this," he tapped her forehead, "and this," he tapped his finger above her chest, "You'll do just fine."

He pulled her into a gentle hug and rocked her back and forth. Even though Carson couldn't take away her pain, he always seemed to know how to make her day one way or the other.

"Now," he pulled away with a smile, "you want me to fly you home?"

"I think I might throw up."

"Alright; we'll take my motorcycle then."

"I like that plan a little better."

"Shall we?" He offered his arm to her causing her to laugh.

"Yes," she took his arm, "We shall."


End file.
